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Dirk Diggler Ain't Got Nothin'

Entry Logged on: June 01, 2009 to Part 2 by: Neal
Page Views: 326 - Times Displayed: 8431

In 1991, Neal and George were beaten up by "Marky Mark" Wahlberg and 1 member of his Funky Bunch (specifically, Hector the Bootie Inspector). After knocking Neal and George unconscious, Marky and Hector took their clothes. On the plus side, Neal's tremendous *ahem* character inspired Mark Walhberg's character, Dirk Diggler, in the movie Boogie Nights. George also inspired Mark Wahlberg's character in his forthcoming movie, Little People, because all people look little compared to George.

Tags: 1991(3) celebrities(69) movies(41) music(26) phallus(8)
Names Mentioned: boogie nights(1) dirk diggler(1) hector barros (hector the booty inspector)(1) mark wahlberg (marky mark)(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal

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People, Places, Companies, Products, and Things mentioned that you may recognize from your reality: boogie nights(1), dirk diggler(1), hector barros (hector the booty inspector)(1), mark wahlberg (marky mark)(1)

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  • 1991 - (2 Other Entries)
    • Beating Unicorns is Totally Tasteless - In 1991, Neal organized a protest against brutality toward unicorns called Beating Unicorns is Totally Tasteless, or B.U.T.T. Decades later, George in...
    • Saved By The 1-Up - In 1991 Neal was found dead after a long session of Bad Dudes, however he luckily received a 1-Up just before perishing and was able to be revived by ...
  • celebrities - (68 Other Entries)
    • Basic Instinct - George was the prime candidate for the Sharon Stone role in Basic Instinct. When George passed on the role, due only to the fact that taking the role ...
    • Couch Vibrations with Brian Wilson - As long as we're on the topic of classic rock music groups, it should be noted that George, Neal, and Brian Wilson were founding members of the Beach ...
    • Welcome aboard Sam! - In 2012, George's sons Sam and Mike wondered if they had the potential to be as amazing as their dad and his friend Neal. Sam wanted to learn to make ...
    • The Heroic Journey of Two Wonderful, Influential, Benevolent Human Beings - George and Neal walked completely across the country and back in only three days back in 1986. Everyone was really impressed and George and Neal went ...
    • Documentaries - Throughout the years George and Neal have helped create several famous documentaries, including Gheorghe Marinescu's "The walking troubles of organic ...
    • Show All...
  • movies - (40 Other Entries)
    • Mace, the other Dark Side - Darth Vader was not Luke's father. A paternity test by Maury Povich revealed to Vader that "You are NOT the father!". After checking six other poten...
    • Welcome Back Potter - Overwhelmed by the success of the Harry Potter franchise (books, movies, games, cereals, tampons, etc.) and eager to revive the 1970's sitcoms, in 200...
    • They're all True Stories - Numerous TV shows and Movies (and also a few books) have been based on the life and times of George and Neal. Included in these are: Superman, Bill an...
    • I Dare You! - On September 6, 2010, George and Neal initiated a series of dares, each more shocking than the last. It started innocently enough, when George dared N...
    • Aging gracefully... - Although principles of space-time restrict George and Neal from interacting with their older or younger selves (without proper precautions there is a ...
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  • music - (25 Other Entries)
    • Hungry Eyes - In 1987, Neal organized a one-man a protest against Dial Corporation, demanding that they move their headquarters back to Chicago. Neal's rage was ini...
    • They like us, they REALLY like us! - Somehow, a tribute video was found in 1035 A.D. Weird... The video is a collection of photos from some of George and Neal's greatest achievements, set...
    • Neal and Out - The Fall and Rise of a Modern Legend - In 2022 Neal was having a mid-life crisis and had decided to head to Vegas to gamble his life savings away. George joined him thinking it would be a g...
    • KISS - George and Neal were once part of the rock band KISS, but left the band in 1974 because they didn't think makeup of a raccoon and chimp respectively w...
    • Golden Spleens - In 4539 George and Neal decided to dabble in alchemy and turned themselves into golden statues. Luckily the effects were only temporary and by 5935 t...
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  • phallus - (7 Other Entries)
    • To boldly go... - Unbeknownst to most people, the original Star Trek series was actually a documentary series about George and Neal's adventures. Captain Kirk and his ...
    • Neal Simon's Manhood - Also in 2009, Neal's manhood became sentient and demanded to secede from his body. It was thought, (only by George, known by the rest of the world) th...
    • Love Aid Rings - In 1951, George and Neal decided to make a line of "Love Aid Rings" to sell to the public. Neal designed them based upon his own body, which he felt w...
    • There is No Zero! - In 1966 George and Neal decided to visit the year 0, but the adventures they had in year 0 were so debaucherous that all reference to the year has bee...
    • Jerry Falwell's 65th Birthday Party - Riding the success of their 1992 appearance in Under Siege, George and Neal opened a cake delivery business called "Under Siege 2: Dark (Chocolate) Te...
    • Show All...
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Other Posts:

  • Vatican Idol and Spin-offs - In 2007, hoping to cash in and ride on the success of American Idol, but knowing his limitations (such as poor fashion sense, body odor, warbley singi...
  • Cow Experimentation - In 1984, during George and Neal's famous Cow Experimentation period (it's not what it sounds like), they successfully bred cows with extremely high in...
  • Back Surgey - In 1997 both Neal and George had major back surgery after carrying one too many bathtubs full of caffeinated, carbonated, goodness. For any normal hum...
  • Neal's On Wheels - (Ahem). In 2040, Neal offered a new service to the general public, wherein he would transport people on his back while riding on roller skates. He cal...
  • Slap-Bracelets: The Origin - In the mid-1990s, in an effort to assist law enforcement, Neal and George created a new lightweight, easy to use handcuff. To the shock and frustratio...


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