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Rudolph: The Origin

Entry Logged on: April 12, 2009 to Part 1 by: Neal
Page Views: 151 - Times Displayed: 5037

In 2009, Neal suffered such a massive case of writer's block that his brain literally tried to leave his body by jumping out of his nose. This escape attempt did not work, as Neal's brain got stuck somewhere in his nasal cavity, causing Neal's nose to swell up like a big red balloon. Ever the helpful friend, George took Neal back in time (circa 1938) to a special doctor that he heard could help - Dr. Robert L. May. Unfortunately, Dr. May had been down on his luck financially, and after assisting Neal, the good doctor decided to profit from the situation by writing the story, "Neal, the Red Nosed Ignoramus". Later drafts altered the story such that Neal was a Reindeer named Rudolph. The remainder of the story continued to be a surprisingly accurate account of what happened to Neal that year.

Tags: 1938(1) 2009(21) body parts(14) holidays(8) inspirations(19) origin(24) people of history(33)
Names Mentioned: robert l. may(1) rudolph the red-nosed reindeer(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal

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People, Places, Companies, Products, and Things mentioned that you may recognize from your reality: robert l. may(1), rudolph the red-nosed reindeer(1)

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  • 1938 - (No Other Entries)
  • 2009 - (20 Other Entries)
    • People Against Kneeling - In October 2009, Neal was kidnapped by the group, People Against Kneeling (or PAK; male members are known as PAK-Men and those married to PAK-Men may ...
    • Just Another Barbecue - In the summer of 2009, George and Neal had a barbecue. (Hey, not everything is as exciting as time traveling or fighting off townspeople.) Oh yeah, th...
    • Kidnapped by Ninjas - In 2009, while writing an update to this profile, Neal was kidnapped by ninjas. (Though, truth be told, Neal took out 58 of the ninjas with his awesom...
    • International Infant Sporting League - In 2009, after George surpassed Neal by 100% in the number of genetically descended offspring, Neal and Clarissa got busy, very busy. In 2011 Neal wel...
    • Neal Simon's Manhood - Also in 2009, Neal's manhood became sentient and demanded to secede from his body. It was thought, (only by George, known by the rest of the world) th...
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  • body parts - (13 Other Entries)
    • Science Donations - In 1999, Neal tried to give his body to science. After 30 days, his body was returned as being defective.
    • Bob, I miss my testicles, you jerk! - In 1988, George and Neal created cats and dogs with opposable thumbs and above-average intellects. Everyone was thrilled with the evolutionary jump - ...
    • Lava Lamps: The Origin - In 1960 Neal invented the precursor to the lava lamp, affectionately called the 'Squeegee Glow Blob Light'. However in 1963 British accountant Edward...
    • Golden Spleens - In 4539 George and Neal decided to dabble in alchemy and turned themselves into golden statues. Luckily the effects were only temporary and by 5935 t...
    • Hungry Eyes - In 1987, Neal organized a one-man a protest against Dial Corporation, demanding that they move their headquarters back to Chicago. Neal's rage was ini...
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  • holidays - (7 Other Entries)
    • 2012 Advent Calendars - In 2012 George and Neal began marketing their line of 2012 Advent Calendars. They were inspired by the Mayan calendar, so they only went up to the 21...
    • P & VP - Through a series of mishaps and mistaken identities, for a three-day period in 1943 George and Neal assumed the position of President and Vice Preside...
    • Rue Bourbon is Distracting - In 2069 George and Neal wrote a musical, called "Home to Where the Sun Rises". The smash hit spent four years on Broadway before touring the world. ...
    • Samhain and Zarathosht Diso - A second attempt to unite the religious holidays of Samhain and Zarathosht Diso was equally disastrous since neither of them was Wiccan or Zoroastrian...
    • EastKippur - In an effort to unify religions, George and Neal combined Easter and Yom Kippur, (known as "EastKippur"). Unfortunately, this resulted in a cruel iron...
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  • inspirations - (18 Other Entries)
    • Going all Einstein on your mouth... - In order to celebrate his genius, George and Neal went back in time to 1952 to meet Albert Einstein. Rather than being interested in scientific breakt...
    • 1964 through 1969 - In 1983 Neal and George co-wrote a short story that chronicled their adventures from 1964 through 1969. The story was well received in the literary co...
    • George Spores - In September 1928, Neal and George decided to attempt to clone themselves so that future generations could benefit from their awesomeness. Neal believ...
    • Say Anything (That Won't Get You Arrested) - In 1988 Neal's infatuation with John Cusack reached an all-time high. John was generally pretty cool with it, but during the filming of Say Anything ...
    • Vun (ah ah ah) Too (ah ah ah) Tree (ah ah ah)... - George was originally cast in the lead role as Michael Knight for the 1980's TV series Knight Rider, however due to conflicting interests (George was ...
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  • origin - (23 Other Entries)
    • Joystick Etymology: The Origin - In 1907 both George and Neal independently coined the term "joystick". George had a friend named Joy Buttnum who had a nervous tic that made her twitc...
    • When fate hands us a lemon let's try to make a lemonade: The Origin - In 1906 George accidentally originated the popular phrase "When fate hands you lemons, make lemonade." This phrase was later published in Volume 26, ...
    • It's Convenient: The Origin - In 711 AD on July 11th at 7:11pm George and Neal invented the convenience store. Then, in 1927 some guy named Joe Thompson completely ripped off our i...
    • Slap-Bracelets: The Origin - In the mid-1990s, in an effort to assist law enforcement, Neal and George created a new lightweight, easy to use handcuff. To the shock and frustratio...
    • Napoleon's iPod: The Origin - In 2001 Apple Computer Corporation released the iPod. Sources say that the design was based on an archaeological find from a dig in Russia near the lo...
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  • people of history - (32 Other Entries)
    • Restraining Orders Suck - Between 2056 and 2058, George and Neal had little contact, due to a government-sought restraining order. During those years, Awesomeness!™ was outlawe...
    • Viking/English Hostility - On June 8, 793 AD George and Neal orchestrated the first Viking attack on England; the raid on the monastery of Lindisfarne in Northumbria. This was t...
    • A Meme is Born - LOLcats: The Origin - In 1821 George and Neal had a very nice lunch with Charles Babbage, but at one point George brought out his laptop for a quick check of his Facebook a...
    • Fingers of Doom!: the Helen Keller Story - In 1982, Neal and George wrote, produced, and starred in the off-Broadway musical, "Fingers of Doom!: the Helen Keller Story." The play, which had an ...
    • Yes, they really said that. - In 2024 George and Neal published a collection of lesser known quotes by famous people. They compiled this collection of quotes by painstakingly trave...
    • Show All...
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Other Posts:

  • March of 2009 - In March of 2009 George traveled back to February of 2009 just to make this entry in this list of great accomplishments.
  • This Ain't Your Dada's IKEA - In 2017, riding on the success of ExMo and the IISL, George and Neal started a new line of furniture stores called ILEAK, making the style and comfort...
  • Saved By The 1-Up - In 1991 Neal was found dead after a long session of Bad Dudes, however he luckily received a 1-Up just before perishing and was able to be revived by ...
  • Darwin Loves Us! - In 10,000 BCE, Neal and George invented the opposable thumb. In secret documents, Darwin acknowledged this fact, and renounced his natural selection t...
  • [CENSORED BY FACEBOOK OVERLORDS] - [CENSORED BY FACEBOOK OVERLORDS]


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