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Witness Protection

Entry Logged on: March 04, 2009 to Part 1 by: George - Photos by: George (1)
Page Views: 258 - Times Displayed: 5576

In 1992, when they were prime witnesses in the trial of Chicago's Polish Mafia boss Mogul Downhillski, George and Neal entered witness protection where they were relocated to Idaho and given false names. They lived there for three years before they once again became key witnesses in a criminal case, this time against the eco-terrorist group "Bombing for Bushes". In a strange twist of fate, George and Neal (now known as Sven Jorgenson and Paco Lopez) were again put into witness protection. This time they were relocated to Champaign, IL and, ironically, given the names George Jaros and Neal Simon, although George was now Neal and Neal was now George. In 2001 they again became key witnesses, but this time in separate events. George (really Neal) was to testify against celebrity gangster D-pak Choppa in his murder trial of fellow thug and rapper Jarjar FallSwell. Neal (really George) was considered the expert witness, and the prosecution's slam dunk testimony, in the case of Reticulitermes virginicus vs X-Vermin-X Corporation due to the years he spent secluded in the deep wilderness studying and becoming a part of subterranean termite society. He was at one time knows as the Jane Goodall of termites. Anyway, in a very strange twist of fate, George (really George) was sent into Witness Protection in DeKalb and given the name George Jaros. Neal (really Neal) was sent into witness protection in Chicago the same year and given the name Neal Simon. Unfortunately, due to the secretive nature of witness protection, they were unable to reveal their past identities, resulting in this confusing mess. It all worked out in the end though, and those that might be looking for them are undoubtedly just as confused as everyone else. But please, don't say anything to anyone since this is all supposed to be a secret still. They have currently retired from the business of being key witnesses in criminal cases, since it was becoming too confusing to remember who they were at any given time, especially with all the time travel they do.

 

Witness Protection - The "Bombing for Bushes" eco-terrorist group wasn't your typical eco-terrorist group. Instead of creating turmoil to push environmental agendas, they just terrorized bushes. We witnessed plenty an azalea go up in flames before the FBI finally caught these punks.

The "Bombing for Bushes" eco-terrorist group wasn't your typical eco-terrorist group. Instead of creating turmoil to push environmental agendas, they just terrorized bushes. We witnessed plenty an azalea go up in flames before the FBI finally caught these punks.

Photo by: George

Tags: 1922(1) 2001(8) chicago(10) crimes & scams(16) dekalb(2) nicknames(14) secrets(4) u of i(3)
Names Mentioned: champaign(1) chicago(14) deepak chopra(1) dekalb(2) idaho(1) jane goodall(1) jerry falwell(2) poland(1) university of illinois(5)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

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(Illuminati, New World Order, Bilderberg Group, Committee of 300, the Freemasons, Skull & Bones, The Stonecutters, and the Shriners)



Tags & Related Posts:

People, Places, Companies, Products, and Things mentioned that you may recognize from your reality: champaign(1), chicago(14), deepak chopra(1), dekalb(2), idaho(1), jane goodall(1), jerry falwell(2), poland(1), university of illinois(5)

Tags:
  • 1922 - (No Other Entries)
  • 2001 - (7 Other Entries)
    • The World's Gone Tipsy - In 1932 the Italian government hired George to stabilize the Leaning Tower of Pisa to prevent its collapse. Starting during its construction and cont...
    • Saved By The 1-Up - In 1991 Neal was found dead after a long session of Bad Dudes, however he luckily received a 1-Up just before perishing and was able to be revived by ...
    • 7 South Dearborn Tower in Chicago - In 2001 George and Neal went hang gliding from the top of the 7 South Dearborn Tower in Chicago (yes, we know it was never built... in this timeline, ...
    • Infecting 1002 - In 2010, George and Neal went back in time to 2001 to stop themselves from hang gliding off 7 South Dearborn. Instead of arriving in 2001, they arrive...
    • Them Amazing Ladies - In 2001 George married the most incredible woman ever to live, past, present, and future, leaving Neal to settle for the second best, although if you ...
    • Show All...
  • chicago - (9 Other Entries)
    • Historic 10 year journey from Chicago to DeKalb - Just last year George and Neal began their historic 10 year journey from Chicago to DeKalb. Currently they're stuck in traffic and just called their w...
    • Chicago Cubs in the World Series! (Psyche!) - In 2412, 467 years after their last World Series appearance, the Chicago Cubs looked likely to finally break their Billy Goat Curse, however, in true ...
    • 1945, Tigers/Cubs, Game 4 of the World Series - In 1945, George and Neal decided to go to a Tigers/Cubs game - fatefully, it was Game 4 of the World Series. During the game, George complained of a s...
    • Cheese Eatin' Bears - In 1919 George and Neal started raising a sleuth of bears that would eat only cheese. For quite a while this was pretty useless, but it came in very h...
    • Neal's On Wheels - (Ahem). In 2040, Neal offered a new service to the general public, wherein he would transport people on his back while riding on roller skates. He cal...
    • Show All...
  • crimes & scams - (15 Other Entries)
    • Just don't use it on your clothes, please. - In 2048, Neal claimed to invent an invisibility potion, and thereafter used the potion to open up many financially successful invisible zoos. George l...
    • Metropolitan & Allied Bank [GH] Ltd. Nima Branch - In 2000 George and Neal traveled to Africa and met Mr. Fred Abeku, the present branch Manager of Metropolitan & Allied Bank [GH] Ltd. Nima Branch, opp...
    • Slap-Bracelets: The Origin - In the mid-1990s, in an effort to assist law enforcement, Neal and George created a new lightweight, easy to use handcuff. To the shock and frustratio...
    • Rhymes with 'Orange' - Upon hearing that no word in the English language rhymed with "orange," in 1986, George invented the word "sporange" just so one would exist. Years la...
    • Need More Conventions!!! - By 2031 there were so many comic conventions and expos (including Comic-Con, WizCon, APE, C2E2, WonderCon, Comikaze, C4, MegaCon, Sac-Con, Pros & Con,...
    • Show All...
  • dekalb - (1 Other Entry)
    • 1 Already Displayed with Another Tag
  • nicknames - (13 Other Entries)
    • Geal - In 1955, a small village in Transylvania attempted to assassinate George and Neal for inventing Pig Latin. All attempts were unsuccessful, in part bec...
    • On Online Dating - After the success of online dating websites such as "Eharmony" and "J-Date" (a social/dating website for Jewish people), George and Neal created their...
    • He grabbed my hand and whispered, 'Run!' - The long running television series Doctor Who is loosely based on George and Neal's adventures, except their time machine does not look like a police ...
    • Everything is About George - After a heated debate with his wife where she stated, "Everything is not always about you, George!", George went back in time (just prior to the begin...
    • Captain Gooey and The Incredible Taint - For a brief time in 1963, Neal and George became super heroes, using the pseudonym "Captain Gooey" and "The Incredible Taint", respectively. Their for...
    • Show All...
  • secrets - (3 Other Entries)
    • The Flying Porcupine (and not the Short S.25 Sunderland) - In 1921 George and Neal began the daunting task of teaching porcupines to fly. It was long, arduous, painful work, and after twelve long years they g...
    • Area 51¾ - Area 51 - There is no such thing. I repeat, there is no such thing as Area 51. Area 51¾, however has been kept such a great secret by George and Neal ...
    • The Secret Society of ¤ - In 1956 George and Neal founded a super-duper-triple-secret organization. I can't tell you the name of the society or I would have to kill you, but I ...
  • u of i - (2 Other Entries)
    • Bucket Run - George was not the inventor of the famed "bucket run" at U of I, despite the widely held belief (the original bucket run was not actually invented, bu...
    • The Multiverse - There are lots of stories about the Bermuda Triangle and how it causes ships and airplanes to mysteriously disappear. In actuality, this is the simply...
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Other Posts:

  • It Was A Big Stapler - In 1959, George and Neal did some other awesome stuff, and one thing they are both not very proud of. It involved a tray of ice, a can of motor oil, a...
  • Couch Vibrations with Brian Wilson - As long as we're on the topic of classic rock music groups, it should be noted that George, Neal, and Brian Wilson were founding members of the Beach ...
  • Joanie Loves Churros - In 1978 a temporary glitch in George and Neal's Time Machine (well, not so much a glitch as Neal spilling a tub of Tang drink mix onto the controls - ...
  • Lady Gaga vs P!nk - In 2011 the debate over which female music artist was the craziest resulted in a UFC cage match between Lady Gaga and P!nk. The match lasted 12 hours ...
  • We'd Need a Thneed Indeed! - In 1965 George and Neal invented an odd-looking but versatile garment that everyone needs. In 1971 we licensed the story of the growing Thneed industr...


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