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We Got (no) Game!

Entry Logged on: February 08, 2021 to Part 4 by: Neal - Photos by: Neal (4)
Page Views: 134 - Times Displayed: 214

Athletes. They command respect, admiration, and free Wheaties cereal. Having conquered every other field imaginable (and then creating fields not yet imagined and conquering those) George and Neal's traveled to 1990 to become world-renowned athletes.

Unfortunately, as neither George nor Neal possessed a modicum of athletic ability, they DID become world-renowned athletes... but not for the reasons they had hoped. Neal was the first baseball player to somehow break his pelvis when he hit himself in the face with a bat. George was banned from the world of golf, after tackling players repeatedly. He pretended he didn't know the rules. No one believed him.

Still, since at that time sports cards were a billion dollar industry, George and Neal managed to make a hefty sum releasing cards that reflected their most memorable moments of their short lived foray into sports.

 

We Got (no) Game! - Michael Jordan listed this as his favorite moment in sports history, even above his multiple championships.

Michael Jordan listed this as his favorite moment in sports history, even above his multiple championships.

Photo by: Neal

 

 - "Wait... wait...  wait... I can do this!" George said repeatedly.  He remained in this position for seventeen hours.

"Wait... wait... wait... I can do this!" George said repeatedly. He remained in this position for seventeen hours.

Photo by: Neal

Neal's daughter, Ayla, also threw her hat in the ring. Regrettably, it was a sumo ring.

 

 - "Where do I grab?  WHERE DO I GRAB???" Ayla said, before being spun around like a human pizza.

"Where do I grab? WHERE DO I GRAB???" Ayla said, before being spun around like a human pizza.

Photo by: Neal

Despite their great financial success, George and Neal considered erasing that timeline entirely. As they pondered the possibility, they were flooded with letters from children everywhere, thanking them. It turns out that George and Neal were inspirations - no child is embarrassed to try, and fail, at sports, since they could never do any worse than George and Neal. So yeah... George and Neal erased that timeline. The only evidence of this rare failure are some trading cards and a few very used jock straps. Aside: do not upset George or Neal, or they will mail you very used jock straps.

Tags: 1990(3) dodge ball(1) dodgeball(1) embarrassing(1) Michael Jordan(1) sports(24) trading cards(1) you reading these George?(1)
Names Mentioned: george(5) Michael Jordan(1) Neal(4)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (4)

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People, Places, Companies, Products, and Things mentioned that you may recognize from your reality: george(5), Michael Jordan(1), Neal(4)

Tags:
  • 1990 - (2 Other Entries)
    • Cookin' with Martha and Neal - In 1990, George began producing Martha Stewart's new cooking show, "Cookin' with Martha and Neal". The show ran for two very successful seasons; howev...
    • Settling The Great Debate - In an attempt to settle the long-running debate whether human behavior is determined by a person’s genes or rather by their enviro...
  • dodge ball - (No Other Entries)
  • dodgeball - (No Other Entries)
  • embarrassing - (No Other Entries)
  • Michael Jordan - (No Other Entries)
  • sports - (23 Other Entries)
    • Chicago Cubs in the World Series! (Psyche!) - In 2412, 467 years after their last World Series appearance, the Chicago Cubs looked likely to finally break their Billy Goat Curse, however, in true ...
    • Studio Carrum Ccohortis - After extensive research for 23 years, George and Neal released the results of their Studio Carrum Ccohortis project. They discovered a very complex f...
    • Cheese Eatin' Bears - In 1919 George and Neal started raising a sleuth of bears that would eat only cheese. For quite a while this was pretty useless, but it came in very h...
    • Play With George's Balls! - Unfortunately, after George's Basket Ball Company, Play With George's Balls!, experienced significant losses due to lawsuits surrounding his latest ga...
    • Kick-Ball Ball-Kick - Striking a blow for ball rights everywhere (Editor's note: I'm not touching that one - literally or figuratively), in 1973, George and Neal created th...
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  • trading cards - (No Other Entries)
  • you reading these George? - (No Other Entries)
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  • It's Convenient: The Origin - In 711 AD on July 11th at 7:11pm George and Neal invented the convenience store. Then, in 1927 some guy named Joe Thompson completely ripped off our i...
  • Facebook Edit-Off - In early 2009, George and Neal began their epic "Facebook Edit-Off" competition, which spanned eleven years, and over ten thousand pages of irrelevant...
  • Swingin' Records! - In 2016, George and Neal turned their attention to songwriting. They ghost-wrote a string of musical hits, including "We Built This City" by Starship...
  • Couch Potatoes Illustrated - Hearing about the steep decline in readers for magazines such as Sports Illustrated and Men's Health, George and Neal decided to start their own magaz...
  • Mmmm.... Gluten... - In 2010, George and Neal created a line of delicious, gluten-free food for those with gluten sensitivities. The food line was a gigantic hit for hund...


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