The Grand Saga of
George and Neal's Adventures
Through Time and Space (and Pudding)!
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What happens in Ancient Greece stays in Ancient Greece.
Entry Logged on: October 20, 2012 to Part 3 by: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)Page Views: 403 - Times Displayed: 22299
Tired of caring for three children (yes, George, that includes you), Julie recruited Clarissa to go on a time traveling "ladies only" vacation. While the women were gone, George and Neal successfully fended for themselves and the kids, subsisting on a diet of ramen noodles and old fritos they found in couch cushions. Though neither George nor Neal nor the children changed their clothes during the entire time Clarissa and Julie were gone (7 days or 4,000 years depending on how you view time travel), the capable fathers made a game of it. Adin won 1st prize in "Who's That Smell?", an amateur game that George and Neal made up (which they later sold to the CNN network in 3014 - as at that time CNN ceased being a news network and reformed as a pornography / sitcom network). Meanwhile, Clarissa and Julie traveled to Ancient Greece, because Clarissa loves Greek food. Ironically, she felt that the food there didn't compare with the Greek food of 2012. Go figure. Upon their return, Julie and Clarissa refused to tell George and Neal what happened during their stay (because as we know, what happens in Ancient Greece stays in Ancient Greece). Still, Julie and Clarissa must have had some trip, as now all depictions of the Greek Gods Hera and Aphrodite look exactly like them.
This picture was the inspiration for both the 12 hour clock, and erotic cakes. I'm not really sure how that last one relates, but, eh, there you go.
Photo by: Neal
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- 2012 - (13 Other Entries)
- Lego Prison - In 2012 George and Neal's kids Mike, Sam, Adin, and Ayla snatched the time machine and traveled to 1948 where they were able to convince legislators t...
- 3014 Was Weird - In 3014, feeling melancholy as a result of a worldwide illness that removed the human eye's ability to detect a significant amount of electromagnetic ...
- 2012 Advent Calendars - In 2012 George and Neal began marketing their line of 2012 Advent Calendars. They were inspired by the Mayan calendar, so they only went up to the 21...
- Family Week - In September 2012 George took a short break from time travelling, changing history, and altering the laws of physics to spend some more time with his ...
- Happy Apocalypse Eve! - On December 20, 2012 George and Neal discovered that the world was not in fact ending, according to previous beliefs based on the Mayan calendar. Rath...
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- 3014 - (1 Other Entry)
- 1 Already Displayed with Another Tag
- clarissa - (5 Other Entries)
- GONADS - In 2009 George, along with Neal's wife Clarissa, developed the Genetic Origins Nurturing And Development System or GONADS. This revolutionary device t...
- International Infant Sporting League - In 2009, after George surpassed Neal by 100% in the number of genetically descended offspring, Neal and Clarissa got busy, very busy. In 2011 Neal wel...
- Pleasurebots: The Origin - 2011: As a result of all of George and Neal's time traveling they were away from home a good portion of the time. In an effort to provide comfort to t...
- Them Amazing Ladies - In 2001 George married the most incredible woman ever to live, past, present, and future, leaving Neal to settle for the second best, although if you ...
- 1 Already Displayed with Another Tag
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- food - (44 Other Entries)
- Broccloaf - In 1993, George won rave reviews with food critics across the nation (though mostly in southern New Jersey) when he created a tasty new meatloaf. Not ...
- Make the Trains Run on Thyme - Mussolini got his idea to tell everyone that he made the trains run on time after George and Neal invented a train that ran on thyme (Benito simply mi...
- Cow Experimentation - In 1984, during George and Neal's famous Cow Experimentation period (it's not what it sounds like), they successfully bred cows with extremely high in...
- Fear Factor Delicacies - In 1998, George convinced Neal to go on Fear Factor, where Neal went on to eat 50 scorpions, 12 worms, and over a hundred bull testicles. Neal later l...
- Restraining Orders Suck - Between 2056 and 2058, George and Neal had little contact, due to a government-sought restraining order. During those years, Awesomeness!™ was outlawe...
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- games - (14 Other Entries)
- Who Wants to Be a Hundred-Aire - In 2006, Neal appeared on the television spin off, "Who Wants to Be a Hundred-Aire". Neal did not win the hundred dollars.
- There's Waldo!!! - In 1998, Neal became overwhelmingly frustrated when he tried to crack the mysteries of the complex literary tome, "Where's Waldo?" After a near-breakd...
- Play With George's Balls! - Unfortunately, after George's Basket Ball Company, Play With George's Balls!, experienced significant losses due to lawsuits surrounding his latest ga...
- Huh huh huh, you said 'deep'... - On May 11, 1997, "Deep Blue", a chess-playing computer developed by IBM, won a six-game match by two wins to one with three draws against world champi...
- Save the Dinosaurs - 65 million years ago George and Neal used their teleportation device to rescue countless dinosaurs from impending doom when a comet was about to crash...
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- george funk - (10 Other Entries)
- Ice Cream Sandwich: The Origin - In 1931, Neal made the mistake of ordering 10,000 loaves of chocolate wafers. (Okay, it wasn't a mistake - he just liked chocolate. It was a weak mome...
- Mmmmmmm... George Juice! - For unexplained reasons, George loves to bathe in Worcestershire sauce (which Dictionary.com defines as a "savory sauce of vinegar, soy sauce and spic...
- Captain Gooey and The Incredible Taint - For a brief time in 1963, Neal and George became super heroes, using the pseudonym "Captain Gooey" and "The Incredible Taint", respectively. Their for...
- The Great Smog of '52 - In 1952 (but chronologically in 1997 during a trip in a time machine they co-invented) George and Neal visited London, resulting in the Great Smog of ...
- Duels of Toxicity - Beginning in 1777, every 4th of July, George and Neal would get together and throw a party for the most important and powerful American figures. The p...
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- gimme a break - (4 Other Entries)
- Zoo Trip Time Machine - In March 2010 George and Neal got their families together for a trip to the zoo. They had a fantastic time and said it was a shame they hadn't done t...
- George Takes a Break - In April, 2016 George got tired of the whole ninja fighting and history manipulating thing. He decided to try something more relaxing and opened the M...
- 2 Already Displayed with Another Tag
- julie - (4 Other Entries)
- 4 Already Displayed with Another Tag
- neal funk - (17 Other Entries)
- Hungry Eyes - In 1987, Neal organized a one-man a protest against Dial Corporation, demanding that they move their headquarters back to Chicago. Neal's rage was ini...
- Vatican Idol and Spin-offs - In 2007, hoping to cash in and ride on the success of American Idol, but knowing his limitations (such as poor fashion sense, body odor, warbley singi...
- Infecting 1002 - In 2010, George and Neal went back in time to 2001 to stop themselves from hang gliding off 7 South Dearborn. Instead of arriving in 2001, they arrive...
- Science Donations - In 1999, Neal tried to give his body to science. After 30 days, his body was returned as being defective.
- Beating Unicorns is Totally Tasteless - In 1991, Neal organized a protest against brutality toward unicorns called Beating Unicorns is Totally Tasteless, or B.U.T.T. Decades later, George in...
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- offspring - (12 Other Entries)
- El Niño and La Niña - On a trip to northwestern Peru in 1923 George and Neal both befriended and eventually married the Lopez sisters. The sisters gave birth to two childre...
- It's All Relative - On April 1, 2010, George thought it would be a hilarious prank to go back in time and seduce Neal's great-grandmother. Consequently, George became Nea...
- Welcome aboard Adin! - In 2012, after being told about many of George and Neal's great exploits, Neal's son Adin asked if he could be a part of their future escapades and ad...
- Welcome aboard Sam! - In 2012, George's sons Sam and Mike wondered if they had the potential to be as amazing as their dad and his friend Neal. Sam wanted to learn to make ...
- Metric Woes - Unable to persuade America to convert to the Metric system, in 2087 George and Neal successfully convinced America to abandon their current measuring ...
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- time machine - (36 Other Entries)
- Procrastinat... I'll finish later... - Despite having a time machine, George and Neal are terrible procrastinators. In fact the time travelling makes things even worse because they just ski...
- The Multiverse - There are lots of stories about the Bermuda Triangle and how it causes ships and airplanes to mysteriously disappear. In actuality, this is the simply...
- The Evian Mobile - In 1910 George and Neal, knowing the future issues that would be caused by the pollution from combustion engines, invented a highly efficient hydrogen...
- March of 2009 - In March of 2009 George traveled back to February of 2009 just to make this entry in this list of great accomplishments.
- Falling Out - In 1989 George and Neal had a falling out and didn't speak to each other for over 40 years, until they reconnected over their love of "Rock Smoothies"...
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- tv shows - (48 Other Entries)
- Visiting Eternia - In 1988 George and Neal used their teleportation device to travel to the planet Eternia to inform the inhabitants of the successful legal proceedings ...
- Ralph Malph - In 1920, George unfortunately lost millions investing in a ponzi scheme, in which his investments were used to pay earlier investors. In 1979, Neal lo...
- Back Surgey - In 1997 both Neal and George had major back surgery after carrying one too many bathtubs full of caffeinated, carbonated, goodness. For any normal hum...
- After-School Specials - In the mid 1980's, Neal and George were hired by ABC to produce a series of after-school specials. Those of you who grew up in the 80's may remember (...
- America's Run Out of Talent - By 2012 NBC was having trouble finding people for its hit show "America's Got Talent". So they created a sequel, which George and Neal tried out for i...
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- wives - (14 Other Entries)
- There is No Zero! - In 1966 George and Neal decided to visit the year 0, but the adventures they had in year 0 were so debaucherous that all reference to the year has bee...
- Historic 10 year journey from Chicago to DeKalb - Just last year George and Neal began their historic 10 year journey from Chicago to DeKalb. Currently they're stuck in traffic and just called their w...
- Everything is About George - After a heated debate with his wife where she stated, "Everything is not always about you, George!", George went back in time (just prior to the begin...
- Hawking's melodious robotic voice... Ahhh.... - In 2036, tired of attempting to potty train their many, many children (combined, George and Neal sired 664 children, thanks to their wives, who have b...
- George Neal - In 2029, George and Neal decided to tinker with building functional teleportation technology. Unfortunately, it had been years since either Neal or G...
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- xxx - (10 Other Entries)
- Cookin' with Martha and Neal - In 1990, George began producing Martha Stewart's new cooking show, "Cookin' with Martha and Neal". The show ran for two very successful seasons; howev...
- Neal Simon's Manhood - Also in 2009, Neal's manhood became sentient and demanded to secede from his body. It was thought, (only by George, known by the rest of the world) th...
- The George and Neal Newsnetwork - In 2040, Neal and George created a television news program devoted solely to chronicling their (mis)adventures, called the George and Neal Newsnetwork...
- Two Seamstresses, One Thimble - In 1878, Eadweard Muybridge created what was essentially the world's first "motion picture." Later that year, Neal and George created the first viral ...
- Geal - In 1955, a small village in Transylvania attempted to assassinate George and Neal for inventing Pig Latin. All attempts were unsuccessful, in part bec...
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Other Posts:
- Give me a head with hair, weird, awkward hair... - In 2017 George and Neal decided to start a new hairstyle fad. Instead of the refined, prim, manicured look that they made popular for most of the pre...
- To boldly go... - Unbeknownst to most people, the original Star Trek series was actually a documentary series about George and Neal's adventures. Captain Kirk and his ...
- Horton Hears A Gremlin - In the early 2000's, George and Neal were hired by FOX studios to pitch movie ideas. Given their many adventures, you'd think they would have a wealth...
- Just Another Barbecue - In the summer of 2009, George and Neal had a barbecue. (Hey, not everything is as exciting as time traveling or fighting off townspeople.) Oh yeah, th...
- The only way to beat a hipster is to become one. Or hit them with a heavy object. - Tired of hipsters telling everyone "I liked that band before they were cool," George and Neal did them one better, going back in time and befriending ...
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