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Cookin' with Martha and Neal

Entry Logged on: April 22, 2009 to Part 2 by: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)
Page Views: 366 - Times Displayed: 12160

In 1990, George began producing Martha Stewart's new cooking show, "Cookin' with Martha and Neal". The show ran for two very successful seasons; however, relations between Martha and Neal became strained, resulting in an on-air, climactic and violent fight between the two. Neal did not count on Martha's extremely long reach and proficiency with kitchen knives, and as a result he suffered greatly.

 

Cookin' with Martha and Neal - She'd as soon kill you as look at you.

She'd as soon kill you as look at you.

Photo by: Neal

Thankfully, George managed to bring Neal's corpse to the year 2050, where Neal was resuscitated. As a practical joke, George had Neal's testicles enlarged 500% and moved to his back. Surprisingly, Neal liked the new look, and his coinpurse remains unreasonably gigantic and misplaced to this day.

Tags: 1990(3) 2050(1) body parts(14) celebrities(69) oops(16) tv shows(49) xxx(11)
Names Mentioned: martha stewart(9)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)

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Tags & Related Posts:

People, Places, Companies, Products, and Things mentioned that you may recognize from your reality: martha stewart(9)

Tags:
  • 1990 - (2 Other Entries)
    • Settling The Great Debate - In an attempt to settle the long-running debate whether human behavior is determined by a person’s genes or rather by their enviro...
    • We Got (no) Game! - Athletes. They command respect, admiration, and free Wheaties cereal. Having conquered every other field imaginable (and then creating fields not ye...
  • 2050 - (No Other Entries)
  • body parts - (13 Other Entries)
    • Darwin Loves Us! - In 10,000 BCE, Neal and George invented the opposable thumb. In secret documents, Darwin acknowledged this fact, and renounced his natural selection t...
    • The Opposable Nose: The Origin - In 9,996 BCE, Neal and George invented the opposable nose. It wasn't as well received and didn't go on to quite the success as the opposable thumb. Ho...
    • Rudolph: The Origin - In 2009, Neal suffered such a massive case of writer's block that his brain literally tried to leave his body by jumping out of his nose. This escape ...
    • Science Donations - In 1999, Neal tried to give his body to science. After 30 days, his body was returned as being defective.
    • Love Aid Rings - In 1951, George and Neal decided to make a line of "Love Aid Rings" to sell to the public. Neal designed them based upon his own body, which he felt w...
    • Show All...
  • celebrities - (68 Other Entries)
    • 2008 Election Campaigns - During the 2008 election season, George and Neal were hired by Barack Obama's marketing team to come up with catchy ditties about the man. After writi...
    • Just Good Ol' Boys - In 1982 Neal and George played the roles of Coy and Vance respectively when John Schneider and Tom Wopat (Bo and Luke) walked off the set of the Dukes...
    • Hollywood DermaFleck - In 1967, George and Neal traveled to Hollywood, to start their business, "Skin Flakes of the Stars". They sold exactly what you think. People reacted ...
    • Goodby Kimmie! - In December, 2011 Neal and George did the world a favor by getting rid of Kim Jong Il using a technique they spent decades perfecting. The "Remote Hea...
    • KISS - George and Neal were once part of the rock band KISS, but left the band in 1974 because they didn't think makeup of a raccoon and chimp respectively w...
    • Show All...
  • oops - (15 Other Entries)
    • No Photoshopping Allowed - In 2041, someone had the gall to accuse George and Neal of photoshopping images of their great accomplishments. George and Neal quickly provided hundr...
    • Where did 'C' go? - Unfortunately, sometimes George and Neal's time (mis)adventures cause unforeseeable consequences. For example, in 1978, the letter/sound "c" was elim...
    • Fun With Genetics - Neal does not like the taste of fish. In 2000, George decided to help out Neal by playing around with genetics to create the first fish that tasted li...
    • There is No Zero! - In 1966 George and Neal decided to visit the year 0, but the adventures they had in year 0 were so debaucherous that all reference to the year has bee...
    • Joy to Everyone! - In 2019 George and Neal made a fortune by selling Christmas snow globes. It was all an accident, really. We thought we had this great idea to make C...
    • Show All...
  • tv shows - (48 Other Entries)
    • Hair Match - In 2014, after declaring bankruptcy and losing everything, George and Neal came to their rescue and offered both Rod Blagojevich and Donald Trump an o...
    • Different Strokes of a Texas Chainsaw Massacre - Given the success of the novel (and soon to be movie) Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (a mashup story combining Jane Austen's classic 1813 novel Pride...
    • Back Surgey - In 1997 both Neal and George had major back surgery after carrying one too many bathtubs full of caffeinated, carbonated, goodness. For any normal hum...
    • Nealotards - For six years, from 2021 to 2027 Neal tried very hard to get the world to pick up male-leotards as the latest fashion trend (he called them Nealotards...
    • What's a Typewriter? - In 2025 George and Neal received a grant from the US government to study the long held belief that if you give a billion monkeys a billion typewriters...
    • Show All...
  • xxx - (10 Other Entries)
    • Jerry Falwell's 65th Birthday Party - Riding the success of their 1992 appearance in Under Siege, George and Neal opened a cake delivery business called "Under Siege 2: Dark (Chocolate) Te...
    • Neal Simon's Manhood - Also in 2009, Neal's manhood became sentient and demanded to secede from his body. It was thought, (only by George, known by the rest of the world) th...
    • Captain Gooey and The Incredible Taint - For a brief time in 1963, Neal and George became super heroes, using the pseudonym "Captain Gooey" and "The Incredible Taint", respectively. Their for...
    • Girls Gone Tame - In 2021, to capitalize on the new, extremely modest trends in fashion, George and Neal made millions off their new video series called "Girls Gone Tam...
    • Two Seamstresses, One Thimble - In 1878, Eadweard Muybridge created what was essentially the world's first "motion picture." Later that year, Neal and George created the first viral ...
    • Show All...
View All Tags

Other Posts:

  • George and Neal and the Masters of the Universe - In 1981, after the character Orko appeared in the cartoon He-Man, in a move that confused most of the world, Neal sued the cartoon company for infring...
  • Pluto's back, and it's pissed... - Starting in 2115 George and Neal started sending weekly weight gain supplements and steroids to the Dwarf Planet Pluto. By 2194 Pluto had gained enoug...
  • Not Conspiracy Theories - There are conspiracy theories, and then there's the truth. And here it is, at long last. There was no UFO crash at Roswell. It wasn't a weather balloo...
  • They're all True Stories - Numerous TV shows and Movies (and also a few books) have been based on the life and times of George and Neal. Included in these are: Superman, Bill an...
  • World's First Selfie - It was widely thought that Robert Cornelius took the very first self-portrait (or "selfie") in 1839. However, the truth is, not surprisingly, much mo...


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