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New George and New Neal

Entry Logged on: September 08, 2009 to Part 2 by: Neal
Page Views: 358 - Times Displayed: 7066

On April 23, 1985, Coca-Cola changed its formula and released the New Coke. Not to be outdone, George and Neal intentionally altered their DNA to create New George and New Neal. Much like the New Coke, the response was overwhelmingly negative, and the original George and Neal were back on the market in less than 3 months (though secretly, much like the New Coke, many thought New George and Neal tasted better).

After the reintroduction of Original George and Neal, popular opinion surrounding them skyrocketed. Countless nations (including the kingdoms of England, the Netherlands, and Talossa) proclaimed George and Neal their Kings. This, too, led to its own set of problems, as George, bitter at the idea of having to share his kingdoms with an equally awesome and well-endowed genius, plotted to overthrow Neal. Neal did the same. Luckily, they were able to resolve their differences over a three-day game of Tic-Tac-Toe-Two.

Tags: 1985(4) business ventures(46) genetics(16) george funk(11) neal funk(18) recipes(10)
Names Mentioned: britain(8) coca-cola(1) netherlands(1) new coke(2) talossa(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal

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(Measure Your Spaghetti)
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(President Obama's Education Recovery Effort)



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People, Places, Companies, Products, and Things mentioned that you may recognize from your reality: britain(8), coca-cola(1), netherlands(1), new coke(2), talossa(1)

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  • 1985 - (3 Other Entries)
    • Chronal Warriors George - With the success of Hasbro's Transformers and G.I. Joe toy lines, rival toy company Tonka sought to create their own action figure toy lines. After a...
    • Play With George's Balls! - Unfortunately, after George's Basket Ball Company, Play With George's Balls!, experienced significant losses due to lawsuits surrounding his latest ga...
    • Swingin' Records! - In 2016, George and Neal turned their attention to songwriting. They ghost-wrote a string of musical hits, including "We Built This City" by Starship...
  • business ventures - (45 Other Entries)
    • We Help You Help Yourself - Self Help Clinic - In 2005, George and Neal founded the "We Help You Help Yourself - Self Help Clinic". It is unknown at this time whether the Clinic was a whopping succ...
    • The Fountain of Youth - In 1609 George and Neal discovered the Fountain of Youth in Florida, just where Ponce de Leon thought it was. We kept the fountain's location a secret...
    • President Obama's Education Recovery Effort - In 2010, as part of President Obama's Education Recovery Effort, George & Neal's list of accomplishments became mandatory curriculum from 4th grade up...
    • Made in USA - In 1954 George and Neal patented a "Made in China" sticker that could be added to products that were made in China. Today production of our stickers h...
    • The ChickenPede - In 1996 George and Neal cross bred a centipede with a chicken (that was one wild night, let me tell you). The resulting mutant became a favored pet of...
    • Show All...
  • genetics - (15 Other Entries)
    • The Lazy X - In 1987, while working on their little known chromosome research project, George and Neal discovered that the Y chromosome was merely a "lazy X" chrom...
    • Godzilla - In 1954, Neal and George worked in Japan assisting scientists with all sorts of experiments. (The boys secretly volunteered because they enjoyed drink...
    • The Flying Porcupine (and not the Short S.25 Sunderland) - In 1921 George and Neal began the daunting task of teaching porcupines to fly. It was long, arduous, painful work, and after twelve long years they g...
    • International Infant Sporting League - In 2009, after George surpassed Neal by 100% in the number of genetically descended offspring, Neal and Clarissa got busy, very busy. In 2011 Neal wel...
    • Them Amazing Ladies - In 2001 George married the most incredible woman ever to live, past, present, and future, leaving Neal to settle for the second best, although if you ...
    • Show All...
  • george funk - (10 Other Entries)
    • George Neal - In 2029, George and Neal decided to tinker with building functional teleportation technology. Unfortunately, it had been years since either Neal or G...
    • Duels of Toxicity - Beginning in 1777, every 4th of July, George and Neal would get together and throw a party for the most important and powerful American figures. The p...
    • We're Not Bigfoot - George and Neal are both virile, macho men - so much so that if they did not shave for two days, hair would grow all over their body, making them look...
    • Mmmmmmm... George Juice! - For unexplained reasons, George loves to bathe in Worcestershire sauce (which Dictionary.com defines as a "savory sauce of vinegar, soy sauce and spic...
    • Ice Cream Sandwich: The Origin - In 1931, Neal made the mistake of ordering 10,000 loaves of chocolate wafers. (Okay, it wasn't a mistake - he just liked chocolate. It was a weak mome...
    • Show All...
  • neal funk - (17 Other Entries)
    • Going All Digital, and Clean(ish) - On February 9, 2009 by federal mandate George and Neal were required to go all digital. The mandate was immediately revoked and a new mandate required...
    • The Great Smog of '52 - In 1952 (but chronologically in 1997 during a trip in a time machine they co-invented) George and Neal visited London, resulting in the Great Smog of ...
    • What happens in Ancient Greece stays in Ancient Greece. - Tired of caring for three children (yes, George, that includes you), Julie recruited Clarissa to go on a time traveling "ladies only" vacation. While...
    • Paper Product Hoarders - In 1994 George began his extensive napkin collection. He collected paper cafeteria napkins and stored them in school lockers around the world. Aroun...
    • Lava Lamps: The Origin - In 1960 Neal invented the precursor to the lava lamp, affectionately called the 'Squeegee Glow Blob Light'. However in 1963 British accountant Edward...
    • Show All...
  • recipes - (9 Other Entries)
    • Happy Chomp-akah - Wanting to "shake things up" for the next Hanukah, in 2013 Neal invented "Tleg", the exact opposite of Gelt - chocolate on the outside, gold foil on t...
    • Chewie Wookie Cookies - A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away... As a young girl, Princess Leia Organa was a member of the Alderaan Starflower Girl Scout Troop. Her tro...
    • The Prolific Pancake Pileup - Back in 1952, Neal and George invented the pancake. Not that they were trying to invent it, mind you. They just suck at making regular cakes, and that...
    • When Lemurade Fails - When Neal's recipe for Lemurade failed to catch on in the early 1900s, George suggested that it may have been because Lemurade didn't contain any actu...
    • Rock Smoothies & Time Machines: The Origin - They also built a time machine, accidentally, while trying to fix a blender. The blender was originally broken when George and Neal decided to make "R...
    • Show All...
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