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Darwin Loves Us!

Entry Logged on: March 13, 2009 to Part 1 by: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)
Page Views: 406 - Times Displayed: 6985

In 10,000 BCE, Neal and George invented the opposable thumb. In secret documents, Darwin acknowledged this fact, and renounced his natural selection theory. Confusingly, the Vatican has suppressed this information for generations.

 

Darwin Loves Us! - He couldn't have been that mad; he gave us a signed copy!

He couldn't have been that mad; he gave us a signed copy!

Photo by: Neal

Tags: .10000 bce(1) ancient wonders(9) body parts(14) christian(8) evolution(5) inventions(49) people of history(33) prehistoric(6)
Names Mentioned: charles darwin(2) vatican(3)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)

<< Previous Saga Entry
(The Prolific Pancake Pileup)
 Next Saga Entry >>
(The Opposable Nose: The Origin)



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People, Places, Companies, Products, and Things mentioned that you may recognize from your reality: charles darwin(2), vatican(3)

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  • .10000 bce - (No Other Entries)
  • ancient wonders - (8 Other Entries)
    • There is No Zero! - In 1966 George and Neal decided to visit the year 0, but the adventures they had in year 0 were so debaucherous that all reference to the year has bee...
    • The World's Gone Tipsy - In 1932 the Italian government hired George to stabilize the Leaning Tower of Pisa to prevent its collapse. Starting during its construction and cont...
    • The Opposable Nose: The Origin - In 9,996 BCE, Neal and George invented the opposable nose. It wasn't as well received and didn't go on to quite the success as the opposable thumb. Ho...
    • Feats of Strength!™ - In 2000 BCE, Neal and George traveled to the English county of Wiltshire to participate in the yearly Feats of Strength!™. George lifted a cow (using ...
    • Napoleon's iPod: The Origin - In 2001 Apple Computer Corporation released the iPod. Sources say that the design was based on an archaeological find from a dig in Russia near the lo...
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  • body parts - (13 Other Entries)
    • Love Aid Rings - In 1951, George and Neal decided to make a line of "Love Aid Rings" to sell to the public. Neal designed them based upon his own body, which he felt w...
    • Lava Lamps: The Origin - In 1960 Neal invented the precursor to the lava lamp, affectionately called the 'Squeegee Glow Blob Light'. However in 1963 British accountant Edward...
    • Ultra-Mega Teeth Brushing and Cleaning System - In 1758 George and Neal invented tooth paste. Their first attempt was made from actual ground up teeth and was used to hold in dentures, but eventuall...
    • Back Surgey - In 1997 both Neal and George had major back surgery after carrying one too many bathtubs full of caffeinated, carbonated, goodness. For any normal hum...
    • Golden Spleens - In 4539 George and Neal decided to dabble in alchemy and turned themselves into golden statues. Luckily the effects were only temporary and by 5935 t...
    • Show All...
  • christian - (7 Other Entries)
    • Olympic Snowball - In 2022, at George and Neal's insistence (ok, it was actually persistence - we agreed to finally stop whining about it if the IOC included it - we can...
    • EastKippur - In an effort to unify religions, George and Neal combined Easter and Yom Kippur, (known as "EastKippur"). Unfortunately, this resulted in a cruel iron...
    • Joy to Everyone! - In 2019 George and Neal made a fortune by selling Christmas snow globes. It was all an accident, really. We thought we had this great idea to make C...
    • Sisters of Endless Guilt - In 1962 George and Neal dressed as nuns and moved into the Sisters of Endless Guilt convent, just for kicks. We lived there for three and a half month...
    • George Neal - In 2029, George and Neal decided to tinker with building functional teleportation technology. Unfortunately, it had been years since either Neal or G...
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  • evolution - (4 Other Entries)
    • Skullets Rock! - In 1983 George convinced Patrick Stewart that it was time to change his hairstyle and shave his afro. Neal suggested a mohawk instead, which Patrick ...
    • Unintelligent Design - In 2111 George and Neal made waves in the ongoing debate on Evolution vs. Creationism with a new theory of Unintelligent Design, which states that a d...
    • Taylor Wharton LABS-40K Cryogenic Freezer - 680 Million years ago George and Neal were snooping around prehistoric earth studying ancient single celled organisms. When they left, Neal absentmind...
    • Save the Dinosaurs - 65 million years ago George and Neal used their teleportation device to rescue countless dinosaurs from impending doom when a comet was about to crash...
  • inventions - (48 Other Entries)
    • Emoticlish - Emoticons will become the dominant language in 2028 for nearly every nation. In the rare nation that does not adopt Emoticlish (as it is referred to i...
    • QZIZZLE-PIZZLE - In 1856 George and Neal invented over six different types of keyboards, the now ubiquitous QWERTY keyboard, the still sometimes used Dvorak keyboard, ...
    • GONADS - In 2009 George, along with Neal's wife Clarissa, developed the Genetic Origins Nurturing And Development System or GONADS. This revolutionary device t...
    • Metric Woes - Unable to persuade America to convert to the Metric system, in 2087 George and Neal successfully convinced America to abandon their current measuring ...
    • Make the Trains Run on Thyme - Mussolini got his idea to tell everyone that he made the trains run on time after George and Neal invented a train that ran on thyme (Benito simply mi...
    • Show All...
  • people of history - (32 Other Entries)
    • Everything is About George - After a heated debate with his wife where she stated, "Everything is not always about you, George!", George went back in time (just prior to the begin...
    • Duels of Toxicity - Beginning in 1777, every 4th of July, George and Neal would get together and throw a party for the most important and powerful American figures. The p...
    • George Spores - In September 1928, Neal and George decided to attempt to clone themselves so that future generations could benefit from their awesomeness. Neal believ...
    • George & Neal's Excellent Adventure - In 1988, Bill and Ted went on an excellent adventure. Nothing compared to the exploits of George and Neal, which the movie was based off of. However, ...
    • The 3 Stooges: The Origin - In 1933, Columbia's "3 Nice Regular Guys" premiered, starring Moe Howard, Larry Fine, and George Jaros. The three produced 25 eight-to-twelve minute ...
    • Show All...
  • prehistoric - (5 Other Entries)
    • Vacationing in 165,003 B.C. - In 165,003 BCE George and Neal visited Macronesia, a large continent in the now Pacific Ocean (not to be confused with Macaronesia in the Atlantic). U...
    • Lavender, Lavender Everywhere - In 2013, Neal and George totally negated existence as a result of a time paradox created by the two. In 2015, Neal and George totally fixed the proble...
    • 3 Already Displayed with Another Tag
    • Show All...
View All Tags

Other Posts:

  • Big Triangular Shaped Buildings - In 2540 BCE George and Neal designed and supervised the construction of the great Pyramid at Giza. We didn't use slave labor like many historians susp...
  • Igpay Atinlay: The Origin - Onway ethay iptray ackbay otay 2010 Ealnay andway Eorgegay accidentallyway entway otay 2010 BCEAY. Erethay eythay inventedway Igpay Atinlay. Ethay ang...
  • The Idiots Guide To Circumcision - In 1995, George and Neal published the first ever "Idiots Guide To..." book under the pseudonyms "Astronauts Thomas D. Jones, Ph.D. and Michael Benson...
  • In the Beginning... AKA: The Origin - Neal met George workin' on the farm. George always promised Neal he'd see the rabbits.After a falling out, they met years later on a city bus. Wait, d...
  • It's All Relative - On April 1, 2010, George thought it would be a hilarious prank to go back in time and seduce Neal's great-grandmother. Consequently, George became Nea...


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