The Grand Saga of
George and Neal's Adventures
Through Time and Space (and Pudding)!
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Feats of Strength!™
Entry Logged on: March 29, 2009 to Part 1 by: NealPage Views: 356 - Times Displayed: 7320
In 2000 BCE, Neal and George traveled to the English county of Wiltshire to participate in the yearly Feats of Strength!™. George lifted a cow (using his secret muscle enhancing device created, conveniently enough, by Neal and George years earlier, which was actually 1983 thanks to the time machine - don't think too hard about this, it might hurt your head). Not to be outdone, Neal lifted a cow and a boulder (he did not use the muscle enhancer; he's just that awesome). In disgust, George threw a boulder at Neal's head. Neal retaliated by throwing a series of rocks at George. This went back and forth for hours. After Neal and George called a truce - and after the townsfolk ran off in fear of being clocked in the noggin by a large rock - they rested on the piles of rocks they created, now called Stonehenge. Yeah, it happened just like that.
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.2000 bce(1)
1983(6)
amazing abilities(16)
ancient wonders(9)
body parts(14)
britain(9)
competition(10)
prehistoric(6)
sports(24)
time machine(37)
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- .2000 bce - (No Other Entries)
- 1983 - (5 Other Entries)
- Skullets Rock! - In 1983 George convinced Patrick Stewart that it was time to change his hairstyle and shave his afro. Neal suggested a mohawk instead, which Patrick ...
- From the generic - From the generic "How Do You Know" fields:Lived together?You lived in Sin in 1998.You lived in a van down by the river (but we swear nothing steamy ha...
- 1964 through 1969 - In 1983 Neal and George co-wrote a short story that chronicled their adventures from 1964 through 1969. The story was well received in the literary co...
- Able Archer 83: The Origin - In 1983, George devised a 10-day NATO exercise to simulate World War 3, so that all nations participating could see what would happen in the worst cas...
- Sorry-for-the-Hyphens - In 1983, George and Neal started the hair-metal/country band "Sorry-for-the-Hyphens". They gained a small cult following as a result of their minor se...
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- amazing abilities - (15 Other Entries)
- Welcome aboard Sam! - In 2012, George's sons Sam and Mike wondered if they had the potential to be as amazing as their dad and his friend Neal. Sam wanted to learn to make ...
- No Photoshopping Allowed - In 2041, someone had the gall to accuse George and Neal of photoshopping images of their great accomplishments. George and Neal quickly provided hundr...
- Free TV! - George and Neal can view the entire electromagnetic spectrum, not only visible light. This has many uses and has helped us with our amazing achievemen...
- We talked in haiku, | And then in anagrams, too. | Darned nuts, understand? - For a period of six months, George and Neal spoke only in haiku - followed by another period where they spoke only in anagrams. No one understood a si...
- 7 South Dearborn Tower in Chicago - In 2001 George and Neal went hang gliding from the top of the 7 South Dearborn Tower in Chicago (yes, we know it was never built... in this timeline, ...
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- ancient wonders - (8 Other Entries)
- The Opposable Nose: The Origin - In 9,996 BCE, Neal and George invented the opposable nose. It wasn't as well received and didn't go on to quite the success as the opposable thumb. Ho...
- Igpay Atinlay: The Origin - Onway ethay iptray ackbay otay 2010 Ealnay andway Eorgegay accidentallyway entway otay 2010 BCEAY. Erethay eythay inventedway Igpay Atinlay. Ethay ang...
- There is No Zero! - In 1966 George and Neal decided to visit the year 0, but the adventures they had in year 0 were so debaucherous that all reference to the year has bee...
- The World's Gone Tipsy - In 1932 the Italian government hired George to stabilize the Leaning Tower of Pisa to prevent its collapse. Starting during its construction and cont...
- Napoleon's iPod: The Origin - In 2001 Apple Computer Corporation released the iPod. Sources say that the design was based on an archaeological find from a dig in Russia near the lo...
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- body parts - (13 Other Entries)
- Golden Spleens - In 4539 George and Neal decided to dabble in alchemy and turned themselves into golden statues. Luckily the effects were only temporary and by 5935 t...
- Science Donations - In 1999, Neal tried to give his body to science. After 30 days, his body was returned as being defective.
- Neal Simon's Manhood - Also in 2009, Neal's manhood became sentient and demanded to secede from his body. It was thought, (only by George, known by the rest of the world) th...
- Bob, I miss my testicles, you jerk! - In 1988, George and Neal created cats and dogs with opposable thumbs and above-average intellects. Everyone was thrilled with the evolutionary jump - ...
- Rudolph: The Origin - In 2009, Neal suffered such a massive case of writer's block that his brain literally tried to leave his body by jumping out of his nose. This escape ...
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- britain - (8 Other Entries)
- The Flying Porcupine (and not the Short S.25 Sunderland) - In 1921 George and Neal began the daunting task of teaching porcupines to fly. It was long, arduous, painful work, and after twelve long years they g...
- Viking/English Hostility - On June 8, 793 AD George and Neal orchestrated the first Viking attack on England; the raid on the monastery of Lindisfarne in Northumbria. This was t...
- Vatican Idol and Spin-offs - In 2007, hoping to cash in and ride on the success of American Idol, but knowing his limitations (such as poor fashion sense, body odor, warbley singi...
- President Obama's Education Recovery Effort - In 2010, as part of President Obama's Education Recovery Effort, George & Neal's list of accomplishments became mandatory curriculum from 4th grade up...
- Save the Dinosaurs - 65 million years ago George and Neal used their teleportation device to rescue countless dinosaurs from impending doom when a comet was about to crash...
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- competition - (9 Other Entries)
- Facebook Edit-Off - In early 2009, George and Neal began their epic "Facebook Edit-Off" competition, which spanned eleven years, and over ten thousand pages of irrelevant...
- Need More Conventions!!! - By 2031 there were so many comic conventions and expos (including Comic-Con, WizCon, APE, C2E2, WonderCon, Comikaze, C4, MegaCon, Sac-Con, Pros & Con,...
- Hair Match - In 2014, after declaring bankruptcy and losing everything, George and Neal came to their rescue and offered both Rod Blagojevich and Donald Trump an o...
- Synchronized Swimming - Remember Karate Kid? Well, George and Neal faced off against each other in a similar competition, except it was not Karate, but rather synchronized sw...
- Them Amazing Ladies - In 2001 George married the most incredible woman ever to live, past, present, and future, leaving Neal to settle for the second best, although if you ...
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- prehistoric - (5 Other Entries)
- Lavender, Lavender Everywhere - In 2013, Neal and George totally negated existence as a result of a time paradox created by the two. In 2015, Neal and George totally fixed the proble...
- Darwin Loves Us! - In 10,000 BCE, Neal and George invented the opposable thumb. In secret documents, Darwin acknowledged this fact, and renounced his natural selection t...
- Vacationing in 165,003 B.C. - In 165,003 BCE George and Neal visited Macronesia, a large continent in the now Pacific Ocean (not to be confused with Macaronesia in the Atlantic). U...
- Taylor Wharton LABS-40K Cryogenic Freezer - 680 Million years ago George and Neal were snooping around prehistoric earth studying ancient single celled organisms. When they left, Neal absentmind...
- 1 Already Displayed with Another Tag
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- sports - (23 Other Entries)
- Peaches and CREAM! - Years later, Neal and George had limited success as the Rollerderby team, "Peaches and CREAM!"
- Play With George's Balls! - Unfortunately, after George's Basket Ball Company, Play With George's Balls!, experienced significant losses due to lawsuits surrounding his latest ga...
- You're spelling it wrong! - George and Neal know that, among friends, Brett actually spells his name like it's pronounced: FARVE.
- International Infant Sporting League - In 2009, after George surpassed Neal by 100% in the number of genetically descended offspring, Neal and Clarissa got busy, very busy. In 2011 Neal wel...
- Oh God I Shot Momma - In 1949, George starred in the off-Broadway (well, off-off Broadway) play "Oh God I Shot Momma" as the corpse. On a completely different note, that sa...
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- time machine - (36 Other Entries)
- March of 2009 - In March of 2009 George went back to February of 2009 and added another entry to this list of great accomplishments. This was George's laziest way to ...
- An end to worldwide tortoise hunger! - In 2008, George and Neal became extremely productive after discovering they could use their time machine to sleep 9 hours each night, while only reall...
- George & Neal's Excellent Adventure - In 1988, Bill and Ted went on an excellent adventure. Nothing compared to the exploits of George and Neal, which the movie was based off of. However, ...
- Like a Boss - Tired of all the speculation, George went back to 1984 and showed the world who was the boss. It was George.
- The Multiverse - There are lots of stories about the Bermuda Triangle and how it causes ships and airplanes to mysteriously disappear. In actuality, this is the simply...
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Other Posts:
- P & VP - Through a series of mishaps and mistaken identities, for a three-day period in 1943 George and Neal assumed the position of President and Vice Preside...
- 2012 Advent Calendars - In 2012 George and Neal began marketing their line of 2012 Advent Calendars. They were inspired by the Mayan calendar, so they only went up to the 21...
- Chronal Warriors George - With the success of Hasbro's Transformers and G.I. Joe toy lines, rival toy company Tonka sought to create their own action figure toy lines. After a...
- Super Bowl: The Origin - In 1967 George and Neal shared the MVP award at the World Championship football game. When they were interviewed about their success, they were asked ...
- If You Survive the Looks You'll Be Tickled Smaragdine... - You know that saying, "If looks could kill"? Well, for a short period in 1868 some looks actually could kill. Glares, frowns, and the evil eye were ...
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