The Grand Saga of
George and Neal's Adventures
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Oh Wilson, Wherefore Art Thou Wilson
Entry Logged on: August 08, 2016 to Part 4 by: George - Photos by: George (1)Page Views: 262 - Times Displayed: 5313
Unbeknownst to many, and typical for a Hollywood film, 2000s blockbuster hit Cast Away, starring Tom Hanks, was nowhere near as good as the Broadway musical it was based on, which also starred Tom Hanks and, coincidentally, Neal. Neal played the iconic role of Wilson in the musical, however Tom Hanks got tired of carrying around Neal's severed head and wanted to share the screen with a volleyball for the movie. Neal wasn't too upset though because after his head spending 36 weeks on Broadway his body was starting to get hungry. So George hot-glued Neal's head back on and he had his first meal in months. Ironically, Neal chose coconuts for his first meal.
Neal was just as excited by Hanks' hairy chest and nipples as Hanks was to make fire.
Photo by: George
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2000(7)
celebrities(69)
miley cyrus is not in this post in any way(8)
movies(41)
relationships(6)
scantily clad people(15)
success!(13)
theater(8)
things we made better(4)
those look like comfortable shoes(3)
Names Mentioned:
Cast Away(1)
Tom Hanks(1)
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- 2000 - (6 Other Entries)
- 7 South Dearborn Tower in Chicago - In 2001 George and Neal went hang gliding from the top of the 7 South Dearborn Tower in Chicago (yes, we know it was never built... in this timeline, ...
- Definitely not Vain - In 1988, Neal and Billy Joel started a fire. Billy Joel denies it. In 2000, Carly Simon admitted she wrote "You're so Vain" about her 10-month, steamy...
- Fun With Genetics - Neal does not like the taste of fish. In 2000, George decided to help out Neal by playing around with genetics to create the first fish that tasted li...
- Swingin' Records! - In 2016, George and Neal turned their attention to songwriting. They ghost-wrote a string of musical hits, including "We Built This City" by Starship...
- Worst... Enya... Ever... - George was the fifth Beatle. However, due to a problem with the time machine, he had to forsake this role, give up fame and fortune and return to his ...
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- celebrities - (68 Other Entries)
- Hollywood DermaFleck - In 1967, George and Neal traveled to Hollywood, to start their business, "Skin Flakes of the Stars". They sold exactly what you think. People reacted ...
- Hawking's melodious robotic voice... Ahhh.... - In 2036, tired of attempting to potty train their many, many children (combined, George and Neal sired 664 children, thanks to their wives, who have b...
- The Rolling Beatles - So very, very tired of endless "Beatles vs. Stones" arguments, in 2022, George and Neal decided to do the only logical thing to resolve the issue: go ...
- Lady Gaga vs P!nk - In 2011 the debate over which female music artist was the craziest resulted in a UFC cage match between Lady Gaga and P!nk. The match lasted 12 hours ...
- Vintage Escher Architecture - For Rent - Speaking of M.C. Escher, in 1955, George and Neal once rented an apartment from him. On the plus side, the rent was very low for such a roomy place. T...
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- miley cyrus is not in this post in any way - (7 Other Entries)
- Yes, they really said that. - In 2024 George and Neal published a collection of lesser known quotes by famous people. They compiled this collection of quotes by painstakingly trave...
- Role Playing, SFW-style - In 2013, Neal introduced George to the role-playing game, Dungeons and Dragons. George thought it was fantastic, as it blended his love of story tell...
- Leggo Your Logo - In August 2019 the popular hobby website Board Game Geek changed their logo from the lovable, cuddly geek to a strange, orange, amorphous blob (appare...
- Need More Conventions!!! - By 2031 there were so many comic conventions and expos (including Comic-Con, WizCon, APE, C2E2, WonderCon, Comikaze, C4, MegaCon, Sac-Con, Pros & Con,...
- The World's Gone Tipsy - In 1932 the Italian government hired George to stabilize the Leaning Tower of Pisa to prevent its collapse. Starting during its construction and cont...
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- movies - (40 Other Entries)
- Girls Gone Tame - In 2021, to capitalize on the new, extremely modest trends in fashion, George and Neal made millions off their new video series called "Girls Gone Tam...
- A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away... - A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, nothing happened because Star Wars was just a story made up by George Lucas (although the plot was loosely...
- Get To Da Choppa! - In 2020 George and Neal produced a very special episode of Dateline's "To Catch A Predator". It was a great success and they captured a lion, three gr...
- Synchronized Swimming - Remember Karate Kid? Well, George and Neal faced off against each other in a similar competition, except it was not Karate, but rather synchronized sw...
- Jaros/Simon 2016 vs Simon/Jaros 2016 - Exhausted with the mean-spirited nature of recent presidential elections as well as the inability of presidents to follow through on campaign promises...
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- relationships - (5 Other Entries)
- It's All Relative - On April 1, 2010, George thought it would be a hilarious prank to go back in time and seduce Neal's great-grandmother. Consequently, George became Nea...
- On Online Dating - After the success of online dating websites such as "Eharmony" and "J-Date" (a social/dating website for Jewish people), George and Neal created their...
- iKing George - In 1014, George founded the Kingdom of Northeast Georgia, and became King George I (known affectionately as iKing). Beginning in October of that year ...
- From the generic - From the generic "How Do You Know" fields:Lived together?You lived in Sin in 1998.You lived in a van down by the river (but we swear nothing steamy ha...
- GONADS - In 2009 George, along with Neal's wife Clarissa, developed the Genetic Origins Nurturing And Development System or GONADS. This revolutionary device t...
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- scantily clad people - (14 Other Entries)
- The George and Neal Newsnetwork - In 2040, Neal and George created a television news program devoted solely to chronicling their (mis)adventures, called the George and Neal Newsnetwork...
- Zardoz - When George and Neal were told they could do costume designing for Sean Connery, they jumped at the opportunity. Not because they liked Sean Connery -...
- Vun (ah ah ah) Too (ah ah ah) Tree (ah ah ah)... - George was originally cast in the lead role as Michael Knight for the 1980's TV series Knight Rider, however due to conflicting interests (George was ...
- Neal and Out - The Fall and Rise of a Modern Legend - In 2022 Neal was having a mid-life crisis and had decided to head to Vegas to gamble his life savings away. George joined him thinking it would be a g...
- We'd Need a Thneed Indeed! - In 1965 George and Neal invented an odd-looking but versatile garment that everyone needs. In 1971 we licensed the story of the growing Thneed industr...
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- success! - (12 Other Entries)
- Made in USA - In 1954 George and Neal patented a "Made in China" sticker that could be added to products that were made in China. Today production of our stickers h...
- A and E: The Origin - However, other times, George and Neal's time (mis)adventures really benefited world languages. For example, in 1232 Neal invented the letter A and Ge...
- Harold and the Purple Crayon: Harold Discovers the Female Anatomy - In 2004, George and Neal publish their educational children's book, "Harold and the Purple Crayon: Harold Discovers the Female Anatomy". The book was ...
- We Made Bon Jovi Cool - In early 1986 Bon Jovi was working on their album Slippery When Wet. Because their previous album wasn't as successful as they had hoped, they hired ...
- Slap-Bracelets: The Origin - In the mid-1990s, in an effort to assist law enforcement, Neal and George created a new lightweight, easy to use handcuff. To the shock and frustratio...
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- theater - (7 Other Entries)
- Oh God I Shot Momma - In 1949, George starred in the off-Broadway (well, off-off Broadway) play "Oh God I Shot Momma" as the corpse. On a completely different note, that sa...
- Sorry-for-the-Hyphens - In 1983, George and Neal started the hair-metal/country band "Sorry-for-the-Hyphens". They gained a small cult following as a result of their minor se...
- Rue Bourbon is Distracting - In 2069 George and Neal wrote a musical, called "Home to Where the Sun Rises". The smash hit spent four years on Broadway before touring the world. ...
- Where the heck are Vladimir and Estragon? - In 1947 George and Neal spent several days in France waiting for their friends Vladimir and Estragon to show up. Neal later wrote a play about it call...
- Fingers of Doom!: the Helen Keller Story - In 1982, Neal and George wrote, produced, and starred in the off-Broadway musical, "Fingers of Doom!: the Helen Keller Story." The play, which had an ...
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- things we made better - (3 Other Entries)
- There is No Zero! - In 1966 George and Neal decided to visit the year 0, but the adventures they had in year 0 were so debaucherous that all reference to the year has bee...
- Tic Tac Toe... Eewwww... - In 2039 the game Tic Tac Toe had a huge resurgence in popularity when Neal discovered that the game had a hidden Easter Egg, where you could actually ...
- 1 Already Displayed with Another Tag
- those look like comfortable shoes - (2 Other Entries)
- Those Look Like Comfortable Shoes - In 1937, scientist Daniel Bovet created the first antihistamine to combat allergies. Flash forward forty years later, to 1977 - another allergy-relat...
- 1 Already Displayed with Another Tag
Other Posts:
- Captain Gooey and The Incredible Taint - For a brief time in 1963, Neal and George became super heroes, using the pseudonym "Captain Gooey" and "The Incredible Taint", respectively. Their for...
- Measure Your Spaghetti - In 2018 George and Neal were invited to appear before the entire US Government to talk about their accomplishments. The talk started out normal enough...
- Luckily for cats, this was a very short period. - During the brief period where George and Neal were not awesome (see www.george-and-neal-are-not-awesome.info), they invented Cat Baseball. It... did ...
- Ultra-Mega Teeth Brushing and Cleaning System - In 1758 George and Neal invented tooth paste. Their first attempt was made from actual ground up teeth and was used to hold in dentures, but eventuall...
- Skullets Rock! - In 1983 George convinced Patrick Stewart that it was time to change his hairstyle and shave his afro. Neal suggested a mohawk instead, which Patrick ...
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