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Jaros/Simon 2016 vs Simon/Jaros 2016

Entry Logged on: October 18, 2012 to Part 3 by: Neal - Photos by: Neal (3)
Page Views: 398 - Times Displayed: 14261

Exhausted with the mean-spirited nature of recent presidential elections as well as the inability of presidents to follow through on campaign promises, George and Neal decided to run for president in 2016. Problems quickly arose when the two could not agree which one would run as President and which one would be relegated to the position of Vice-President. They decided to let the public decide, by using the time machine to run both a Jaros/Simon campaign AND a Simon/Jaros campaign.

 

Jaros/Simon 2016 vs Simon/Jaros 2016 -

 

Jaros/Simon 2016 vs Simon/Jaros 2016 - These pins are considered extremely rare and valuable (by the insane).

These pins are considered extremely rare and valuable (by the insane).

Photo by: Neal

It became very confusing when Neal debated George during the Presidential debate, followed by Neal debating George during the Vice-Presidential debate.

 

2016 Presidential and Vice Presidential Debates - Neal's constant mugging was as arousing as it was distracting.

Neal's constant mugging was as arousing as it was distracting.

Photo by: Neal

Their seemingly infallible plan to hold the highest office backfired, as exactly 49.5% of the voters cast their ballots for the Jaros/Simon combo, and exactly 49.5% of voters cast their ballots for the Simon/Jaros combo. Due to an obscure law that George and Neal unfortunately passed during their three day reign in 1943, the winner was determined by the remaining 1%, which voted as follows: 15% for Ross Perot, 10% for Harrison Ford (thinking he did a wonderful job in the Air Force One movie), 20% for Peter J. Oberweis (running on a "ice cream shall be mandated a vegetable" platform), 25% for Howard the Duck, and the remaining votes went to the winner and write-in candidate, Ralph Nader. Ironically, Nader declined the position. This explains how, for 4 years, the leader of the free world was almost a duck. (Thank goodness ducks were outlawed in 1776.) This also explains why, in 2018 ice cream was declared a vegetable.

Tags: 1776(2) 1943(2) 2016(8) celebrities(69) competition(10) ducks(3) government(16) laws(10) movies(41) politics(9)
Names Mentioned: air force one(1) harrison ford(1) howard the duck(1) peter j. oberweis(1) ralph nader(1) ross perot(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (3)

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Tags & Related Posts:

People, Places, Companies, Products, and Things mentioned that you may recognize from your reality: air force one(1), harrison ford(1), howard the duck(1), peter j. oberweis(1), ralph nader(1), ross perot(1)

Tags:
  • 1776 - (1 Other Entry)
    • We the Bad-Ass Americans - George and Neal went on a vacation/bender in 1776 (again with the time machine). Luckily, though wackiness ensued, nothing was altered in our time-lin...
  • 1943 - (1 Other Entry)
    • P & VP - Through a series of mishaps and mistaken identities, for a three-day period in 1943 George and Neal assumed the position of President and Vice Preside...
  • 2016 - (7 Other Entries)
    • 2015 - In 2015 George and Neal will have finalized all of the details surrounding their friendship. That is, until 2016, when they will have to chronicle all...
    • Presidential Passion! - Originally, Mel Gibson won the 2016 election. Thanks to George and Neal's time machine, this was averted. Unfortunately, Mel Gibson also had a time ...
    • That Crazy Bette - On April 25, 2014 Bette Midler was finally successful in her dastardly plot to capture Neal and George. Using a baked lasagna she was able to lure th...
    • Pokemon STOP - In 2016, the phone app Pokemon:GO! was extremely popular. Kids, adults, and chimpanzees capable of stealing iPhones were all playing this highly addi...
    • Swingin' Records! - In 2016, George and Neal turned their attention to songwriting. They ghost-wrote a string of musical hits, including "We Built This City" by Starship...
    • Show All...
  • celebrities - (68 Other Entries)
    • It's All Relative - On April 1, 2010, George thought it would be a hilarious prank to go back in time and seduce Neal's great-grandmother. Consequently, George became Nea...
    • Vintage Escher Architecture - For Rent - Speaking of M.C. Escher, in 1955, George and Neal once rented an apartment from him. On the plus side, the rent was very low for such a roomy place. T...
    • Damn you, Midler! - In 2010 George and Neal single handedly (well, I guess double-handedly) save the US from a great depression, by creating a new industry devoted solely...
    • Marshmonica as Endorsed by John Popper - Dateline, 2058: In an effort to feed as well as entertain the homeless, George and Neal invented the first edible harmonica. Much to George's dismay, ...
    • The George and Neal Newsnetwork - In 2040, Neal and George created a television news program devoted solely to chronicling their (mis)adventures, called the George and Neal Newsnetwork...
    • Show All...
  • competition - (9 Other Entries)
    • Feats of Strength!™ - In 2000 BCE, Neal and George traveled to the English county of Wiltshire to participate in the yearly Feats of Strength!™. George lifted a cow (using ...
    • The Rolling Beatles - So very, very tired of endless "Beatles vs. Stones" arguments, in 2022, George and Neal decided to do the only logical thing to resolve the issue: go ...
    • Them Amazing Ladies - In 2001 George married the most incredible woman ever to live, past, present, and future, leaving Neal to settle for the second best, although if you ...
    • Teleportation - After beginning to run out of material to add to the "Facebook Edit-Off" competition in year 6 of said competition, George and Neal decided to invent ...
    • Hair Match - In 2014, after declaring bankruptcy and losing everything, George and Neal came to their rescue and offered both Rod Blagojevich and Donald Trump an o...
    • Show All...
  • ducks - (2 Other Entries)
    • 2 Already Displayed with Another Tag
  • government - (15 Other Entries)
    • President Obama's Education Recovery Effort - In 2010, as part of President Obama's Education Recovery Effort, George & Neal's list of accomplishments became mandatory curriculum from 4th grade up...
    • Religious iDeals - In an effort to avoid paying taxes on his massive fortune, in 1935, Neal established the first truly secular religion, Nealism. Honoring the tenets of...
    • Restraining Orders Suck - Between 2056 and 2058, George and Neal had little contact, due to a government-sought restraining order. During those years, Awesomeness!™ was outlawe...
    • Bum Ba Bum, Ba Bum Bum... - In 1972, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum securi...
    • Jaguanst Causes Climate Change - In a landmark, decade long study that George and Neal published the results of in 2012, it was discovered that the biggest cause of global warming was...
    • Show All...
  • laws - (9 Other Entries)
    • Metric Woes - Unable to persuade America to convert to the Metric system, in 2087 George and Neal successfully convinced America to abandon their current measuring ...
    • Measure Your Spaghetti - In 2018 George and Neal were invited to appear before the entire US Government to talk about their accomplishments. The talk started out normal enough...
    • Ultra-Mega Teeth Brushing and Cleaning System - In 1758 George and Neal invented tooth paste. Their first attempt was made from actual ground up teeth and was used to hold in dentures, but eventuall...
    • Lego Prison - In 2012 George and Neal's kids Mike, Sam, Adin, and Ayla snatched the time machine and traveled to 1948 where they were able to convince legislators t...
    • Constitutionally Safe - A 1934 proposed amendment to the Constitution would have prevented George and Neal from having anything to do with interfering in global events again....
    • Show All...
  • movies - (40 Other Entries)
    • They like us, they REALLY like us! - Somehow, a tribute video was found in 1035 A.D. Weird... The video is a collection of photos from some of George and Neal's greatest achievements, set...
    • Basic Instinct - George was the prime candidate for the Sharon Stone role in Basic Instinct. When George passed on the role, due only to the fact that taking the role ...
    • You Won't Be Able To Unsee It. Sorry. - George has always had a love of science fiction. Something about the amazing stories with their roots in real science, fantasy, futurism, and history...
    • The Prolific Pancake Pileup - Back in 1952, Neal and George invented the pancake. Not that they were trying to invent it, mind you. They just suck at making regular cakes, and that...
    • George Neal - In 2029, George and Neal decided to tinker with building functional teleportation technology. Unfortunately, it had been years since either Neal or G...
    • Show All...
  • politics - (8 Other Entries)
    • Nealocrats and Georgicans - In 2034, as a result of their love of George and Neal, America did away with their bipartisan political landscape, replacing it with a more unified go...
    • No One Out Quotes The Donald - Did you know that George and Neal have written speeches for so many great politicians? Some of their best work includes:“I cannot tell you how gratef...
    • Olympic Snowball - In 2022, at George and Neal's insistence (ok, it was actually persistence - we agreed to finally stop whining about it if the IOC included it - we can...
    • Chicken To Ride - And Other Classics Done Right - In 2012 George and Neal recorded an album of cover songs, except instead of the actual lyrics we sang the lyrics that everyone thinks the original art...
    • Need More Conventions!!! - By 2031 there were so many comic conventions and expos (including Comic-Con, WizCon, APE, C2E2, WonderCon, Comikaze, C4, MegaCon, Sac-Con, Pros & Con,...
    • Show All...
View All Tags

Other Posts:

  • We Got (no) Game! - Athletes. They command respect, admiration, and free Wheaties cereal. Having conquered every other field imaginable (and then creating fields not ye...
  • Sock Film Classics - Thelma and Louise - After the success of placing themselves into the roles of classic sitcom characters George and Neal did the same thing with movies. But this time inst...
  • Make the Trains Run on Thyme - Mussolini got his idea to tell everyone that he made the trains run on time after George and Neal invented a train that ran on thyme (Benito simply mi...
  • Love those Anne Geddes baby-flower costumes. - For some unknown reason Japanese people like to take photographs of George. Only Neal likes to take photos of Neal, in those Anne Geddes baby-flower c...
  • Chainsaw Wielding Raccoons - In 1974 George and Neal prevented a hostile takeover of the US by an army of chainsaw wielding raccoons. We did this by training squirrels to use nail...


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