The Grand Saga of
George and Neal's Adventures
Through Time and Space (and Pudding)!
Cow Experimentation
Entry Logged on: October 22, 2012 to Part 3 by: NealPage Views: 1170 - Times Displayed: 8252
In 1984, during George and Neal's famous Cow Experimentation period (it's not what it sounds like), they successfully bred cows with extremely high intelligence. As a result, George and Neal became strict vegetarians, and hid the nation's beef. This coincidentally coincided with Wendy's "Where's the Beef?" campaign, and therefore the public thought the lack of beef was merely a marketing stunt. Unfortunately for cows but fortunately for the meat-eating public, the hyper-intelligent cows did not live longer than three days, so the meat was redistributed (that's what she... well, you know where I'm going with that, so let's just move on). Still though, if the cows had survived, what a world it would be... In the three short days they were alive, they founded the United Democratic Distribution of Edible Relief (known as U.D.D.E.R.), an institution devoted to ending worldwide hunger. The organization focused on the mass distribution of chickens, pigs, platypus, and other farm enemies.
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- 1984 - (9 Other Entries)
- Breakin'! - In 1984, George starred in the movie "Breakin'!" as Master Shabazz. In 1986, Neal, in an effort to follow in his friend's footsteps, starred in the mo...
- Like a Boss - Tired of all the speculation, George went back to 1984 and showed the world who was the boss. It was George.
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- SUPER POWERS - In 1975 a hiccup in the Teleportation Device George and Neal use to travel instantaneously across huge distances caused them to swap realities with al...
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- chickens - (No Other Entries)
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- Marshmonica as Endorsed by John Popper - Dateline, 2058: In an effort to feed as well as entertain the homeless, George and Neal invented the first edible harmonica. Much to George's dismay, ...
- Tic Tac Toe... Eewwww... - In 2039 the game Tic Tac Toe had a huge resurgence in popularity when Neal discovered that the game had a hidden Easter Egg, where you could actually ...
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- Broccloaf - In 1993, George won rave reviews with food critics across the nation (though mostly in southern New Jersey) when he created a tasty new meatloaf. Not ...
- The DHARMA Initiative - In 1973, Neal and George co-founded the DHARMA initiative (yeah, those Lost guys got the idea from us), in an effort to prevent the pending apocalypse...
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- genetics - (15 Other Entries)
- The Damnation that was Smurfs - In 2099 scientists astounded the world by developing genetically engineered little blue creatures that wore nothing but white pants and hats. OK, so ...
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- Not Conspiracy Theories - There are conspiracy theories, and then there's the truth. And here it is, at long last. There was no UFO crash at Roswell. It wasn't a weather balloo...
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- organizations - (14 Other Entries)
- Beating Unicorns is Totally Tasteless - In 1991, Neal organized a protest against brutality toward unicorns called Beating Unicorns is Totally Tasteless, or B.U.T.T. Decades later, George in...
- Area 51¾ - Area 51 - There is no such thing. I repeat, there is no such thing as Area 51. Area 51¾, however has been kept such a great secret by George and Neal ...
- International Infant Sporting League - In 2009, after George surpassed Neal by 100% in the number of genetically descended offspring, Neal and Clarissa got busy, very busy. In 2011 Neal wel...
- The Neo-Geo Fanclub - In an effort to find a way to accurately predict the weather, Neal and George devised a weather-prediction machine, which was comprised of a series of...
- The Secret Society of ¤ - In 1956 George and Neal founded a super-duper-triple-secret organization. I can't tell you the name of the society or I would have to kill you, but I ...
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- science - (27 Other Entries)
- Hawking's melodious robotic voice... Ahhh.... - In 2036, tired of attempting to potty train their many, many children (combined, George and Neal sired 664 children, thanks to their wives, who have b...
- What's a Typewriter? - In 2025 George and Neal received a grant from the US government to study the long held belief that if you give a billion monkeys a billion typewriters...
- Phhhhlbtttt!!! - In 1927 there were actually 14 months to the year. Elevember came after December and Simbulary came after April. Earth revolved around the sun a bit s...
- Religious iDeals - In an effort to avoid paying taxes on his massive fortune, in 1935, Neal established the first truly secular religion, Nealism. Honoring the tenets of...
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- that's what she said - (5 Other Entries)
- Dr. Mountain Pepper Dew BBQ Sauce - In 2008, Neal convinced the makers of Dr. Pepper (which he claimed was the greatest jaguanst available, at least until the year 3041, when the superio...
- We went fishing and all we caught was awful... - In 1976 George and Neal went fishing. All they caught was a cold, the flu, pneumonia, and scarlet fever. But luckily the lake they were fishing on h...
- The Flying Porcupine (and not the Short S.25 Sunderland) - In 1921 George and Neal began the daunting task of teaching porcupines to fly. It was long, arduous, painful work, and after twelve long years they g...
- Just a little background... - ###Just a little background - This entire story was listed in the "Details on how you know each other" section of Facebook. Unfortunately the field fo...
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- tv shows - (48 Other Entries)
- What happens in Ancient Greece stays in Ancient Greece. - Tired of caring for three children (yes, George, that includes you), Julie recruited Clarissa to go on a time traveling "ladies only" vacation. While...
- Welcome Back Potter - Overwhelmed by the success of the Harry Potter franchise (books, movies, games, cereals, tampons, etc.) and eager to revive the 1970's sitcoms, in 200...
- Who Wants to Be a Hundred-Aire - In 2006, Neal appeared on the television spin off, "Who Wants to Be a Hundred-Aire". Neal did not win the hundred dollars.
- Just Good Ol' Boys - In 1982 Neal and George played the roles of Coy and Vance respectively when John Schneider and Tom Wopat (Bo and Luke) walked off the set of the Dukes...
- He grabbed my hand and whispered, 'Run!' - The long running television series Doctor Who is loosely based on George and Neal's adventures, except their time machine does not look like a police ...
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- Lady Gaga vs P!nk - In 2011 the debate over which female music artist was the craziest resulted in a UFC cage match between Lady Gaga and P!nk. The match lasted 12 hours ...
- Rhymes with 'Orange' - Upon hearing that no word in the English language rhymed with "orange," in 1986, George invented the word "sporange" just so one would exist. Years la...
- George Jaros's Punch Out - In 1987, Nintendo released Mike Tyson's Punch Out. Although it was a smash hit, many believe that the game would have sold significantly better had it...
- Igpay Atinlay: The Origin - Onway ethay iptray ackbay otay 2010 Ealnay andway Eorgegay accidentallyway entway otay 2010 BCEAY. Erethay eythay inventedway Igpay Atinlay. Ethay ang...
- Rue Bourbon is Distracting - In 2069 George and Neal wrote a musical, called "Home to Where the Sun Rises". The smash hit spent four years on Broadway before touring the world. ...
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