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Cookin' with Martha and Neal

Entry Logged on: April 22, 2009 to Part 2 by: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)
Page Views: 366 - Times Displayed: 12154

In 1990, George began producing Martha Stewart's new cooking show, "Cookin' with Martha and Neal". The show ran for two very successful seasons; however, relations between Martha and Neal became strained, resulting in an on-air, climactic and violent fight between the two. Neal did not count on Martha's extremely long reach and proficiency with kitchen knives, and as a result he suffered greatly.

 

Cookin' with Martha and Neal - She'd as soon kill you as look at you.

She'd as soon kill you as look at you.

Photo by: Neal

Thankfully, George managed to bring Neal's corpse to the year 2050, where Neal was resuscitated. As a practical joke, George had Neal's testicles enlarged 500% and moved to his back. Surprisingly, Neal liked the new look, and his coinpurse remains unreasonably gigantic and misplaced to this day.

Tags: 1990(3) 2050(1) body parts(14) celebrities(69) oops(16) tv shows(49) xxx(11)
Names Mentioned: martha stewart(9)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)

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People, Places, Companies, Products, and Things mentioned that you may recognize from your reality: martha stewart(9)

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  • 1990 - (2 Other Entries)
    • We Got (no) Game! - Athletes. They command respect, admiration, and free Wheaties cereal. Having conquered every other field imaginable (and then creating fields not ye...
    • Settling The Great Debate - In an attempt to settle the long-running debate whether human behavior is determined by a person’s genes or rather by their enviro...
  • 2050 - (No Other Entries)
  • body parts - (13 Other Entries)
    • Neal Simon's Manhood - Also in 2009, Neal's manhood became sentient and demanded to secede from his body. It was thought, (only by George, known by the rest of the world) th...
    • Rudolph: The Origin - In 2009, Neal suffered such a massive case of writer's block that his brain literally tried to leave his body by jumping out of his nose. This escape ...
    • Hungry Eyes - In 1987, Neal organized a one-man a protest against Dial Corporation, demanding that they move their headquarters back to Chicago. Neal's rage was ini...
    • Science Donations - In 1999, Neal tried to give his body to science. After 30 days, his body was returned as being defective.
    • Bob, I miss my testicles, you jerk! - In 1988, George and Neal created cats and dogs with opposable thumbs and above-average intellects. Everyone was thrilled with the evolutionary jump - ...
    • Show All...
  • celebrities - (68 Other Entries)
    • Skullets Rock! - In 1983 George convinced Patrick Stewart that it was time to change his hairstyle and shave his afro. Neal suggested a mohawk instead, which Patrick ...
    • They like us, they REALLY like us! - Somehow, a tribute video was found in 1035 A.D. Weird... The video is a collection of photos from some of George and Neal's greatest achievements, set...
    • Dirk Diggler Ain't Got Nothin' - In 1991, Neal and George were beaten up by "Marky Mark" Wahlberg and 1 member of his Funky Bunch (specifically, Hector the Bootie Inspector). After kn...
    • The Heroic Journey of Two Wonderful, Influential, Benevolent Human Beings - George and Neal walked completely across the country and back in only three days back in 1986. Everyone was really impressed and George and Neal went ...
    • Fun With Genetics - Neal does not like the taste of fish. In 2000, George decided to help out Neal by playing around with genetics to create the first fish that tasted li...
    • Show All...
  • oops - (15 Other Entries)
    • No means... - You know the saying "No means no", well, in 1929 a glitch in George and Neal's teleportation device actually caused a rift in the definition continuum...
    • Lavender, Lavender Everywhere - In 2013, Neal and George totally negated existence as a result of a time paradox created by the two. In 2015, Neal and George totally fixed the proble...
    • 1945, Tigers/Cubs, Game 4 of the World Series - In 1945, George and Neal decided to go to a Tigers/Cubs game - fatefully, it was Game 4 of the World Series. During the game, George complained of a s...
    • There is No Zero! - In 1966 George and Neal decided to visit the year 0, but the adventures they had in year 0 were so debaucherous that all reference to the year has bee...
    • World Record for Longest Time Chewing Gum - In 2032 George decided to attempt the world record for the longest time continuously chewing a piece of gum (previously listed as 417 days). He was g...
    • Show All...
  • tv shows - (48 Other Entries)
    • Get To Da Choppa! - In 2020 George and Neal produced a very special episode of Dateline's "To Catch A Predator". It was a great success and they captured a lion, three gr...
    • He grabbed my hand and whispered, 'Run!' - The long running television series Doctor Who is loosely based on George and Neal's adventures, except their time machine does not look like a police ...
    • Nanas & Tiaras - Sickened by the inappropriate nature of the popular show "Toddlers & Tiaras", in 2018 George and Neal created a much more family-friendly rival show,...
    • Hair Match - In 2014, after declaring bankruptcy and losing everything, George and Neal came to their rescue and offered both Rod Blagojevich and Donald Trump an o...
    • Max Headroom - Since 1986, every Friday evening, on odd numbered days, in years with digits that add up to 3 or 8, George and Neal hang out with Max Headroom. Un-un-...
    • Show All...
  • xxx - (10 Other Entries)
    • Geal - In 1955, a small village in Transylvania attempted to assassinate George and Neal for inventing Pig Latin. All attempts were unsuccessful, in part bec...
    • Jerry Falwell's 65th Birthday Party - Riding the success of their 1992 appearance in Under Siege, George and Neal opened a cake delivery business called "Under Siege 2: Dark (Chocolate) Te...
    • Two Seamstresses, One Thimble - In 1878, Eadweard Muybridge created what was essentially the world's first "motion picture." Later that year, Neal and George created the first viral ...
    • What happens in Ancient Greece stays in Ancient Greece. - Tired of caring for three children (yes, George, that includes you), Julie recruited Clarissa to go on a time traveling "ladies only" vacation. While...
    • Captain Gooey and The Incredible Taint - For a brief time in 1963, Neal and George became super heroes, using the pseudonym "Captain Gooey" and "The Incredible Taint", respectively. Their for...
    • Show All...
View All Tags

Other Posts:

  • Chainsaw Wielding Raccoons - In 1974 George and Neal prevented a hostile takeover of the US by an army of chainsaw wielding raccoons. We did this by training squirrels to use nail...
  • Different Strokes of a Texas Chainsaw Massacre - Given the success of the novel (and soon to be movie) Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (a mashup story combining Jane Austen's classic 1813 novel Pride...
  • Unintelligent Design - In 2111 George and Neal made waves in the ongoing debate on Evolution vs. Creationism with a new theory of Unintelligent Design, which states that a d...
  • Format Wars - George and Neal have enjoyed starting format wars throughout the years. They are responsible for the infamous "Betamax vs VHS vs Video 2000 Conflict",...
  • George Neal - In 2029, George and Neal decided to tinker with building functional teleportation technology. Unfortunately, it had been years since either Neal or G...


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